Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Feeing Down

The last few days have been especially hard on us. We gave one of our cribs to one of our good friends who is going to have a baby in January. We were happy to do it but we did feel our hearts ache. It is so hard knowing our dream of bringing the boys is not going to happen. The events that unfolded during our adoption journey constantly run through our minds and we do second guess ourselves because we wanted those boys home with us more than anything. We think of them every single day and long for them. We are extremely devastated and it is such a hard time.

14 comments:

Sandra & Steve said...

You are not alone, you two have each other. Give yourself time. Enjoy your Colorado adventure and when the time is right you will find your babies or they will find you. Wishing you all the best!

Heather Field said...

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. It is such a heartbreaking loss. I know that those boys are such a part of your lives and have such a special place in your hearts. May you find peace in your decision and know that God is with you and with those boys.

Chandra said...

*hugs* I'm sorry.

Julie and Dean said...

You did the only thing you could do - the right thing. I wish we could make it all ok right now but it's going to take time. You will be telling your children someday how the road that led you to them was built by the twins.

M and H said...

I won't even pretend to know what you are going through. I hope that you can avoid second guesses and regrets. You took a long time to make a very difficult decision and made the best one for your family. Praying for healing for you both.

Heather & David said...

Sending you great big hugs...

Jen said...

One of the things I did when we lost our daughter was to scrapbook. Even though you don't have hundreds of pictures of the boys you can still scrapbook them and iclude little quotes or poems and a letter to each. It's a great way to remember the children we have lost. I'm thinking of you!

Jen said...

I am so sorry! You two did the right thing in your hearts for the boys--I know it's very painful. Take time to grieve your loss.

Ray and Tammy said...

Melissa-

There are no words to express how sorry I am that this happened. Nor are there any words I have that can ease the pain you are feeling. Please know that you and James continue to be in our prayers.
These boys will forever be a part of your lives. I like what Julie said about these special little boys being the foundation to a dream that will come true one day. When that day comes, you will be the most awesome parents.
_-Tammy

Dave and Teresa said...

I can't even imagine how hard it was to have to make that kind of decision, but I know that it was the best decision that you could have made with the information that you had - and didn't have. Giving the crib away, I imagine, made it seem even more final. I am so sorry for your pain.

Kelli said...

I can't imagine what this heartbreaking loss feels like. I know nothing I say can make it better, but I am praying you find peace...

Susan said...

I am so sorry. I can see how giving away one of the cribs really hit you hard as it is another goodbye to the boys. I am praying for you.

Brian and Melissa Hines said...

Still praying for you guys.

Laura said...

I cannot even imagine how heavy your hearts must be. And I'm sure you'll feel like that for quite some time. Give yourself time to grieve this loss, because it's a huge one. I don't have any words to make you feel better, as much as I wish that I did. Just know that you're in my thoughts and I pray that you find peace. You did the right thing, which was the hard thing. Take care of each other. {{hugs}}