It is hard to believe that we received the referral of the twins a year ago (and a few days). That was the best day of our lives and then everything unraveled before us. Some days are harder than others but those beautiful boys are never far away from our thoughts. We think about them all the time and hope that they get the family they deserve. It is difficult going into our tiny garage and seeing all of the boxes because most of them are full of things for the boys.
Sometimes we do think that we should have done things differently but we didn't have anyone to learn from (we didn't know of that many other RFE's at that time) and our agency was worthless when it came to helping us.
Even though it has been such a hard year full of heartache we are still hopeful that God has a plan for us and those boys. We still love them and always will. It is just so hard thinking about another adoption. I know our hearts will welcome a baby but what if things don't work out for us again? Having faith only gets you so far. We are still thinking about the possibilities.
We do have so much to be thankful for and we need to focus on those things. We can't live our lives with what if's because we still believe we made the best decision based on the information we had. It doesn't make it easier though.